Confession time: I've never been the neatest person.Trust me, I've felt nothing but shame over it, but I just felt there was nothing I could do to change it, no matter how hard I tried. Even living with roommates who helped share the load of housework, nothing seemed to be enough.
Now, I live alone and guess what! While the apartment isn't ready for magazine covers, it's a far cry from the messes I've lived in for the last ten years. I've spent the last month trying to budget enough money to replace cleaning supplies and make sure everything has a proper space, rather than in piles of "I'll get to it later." I even found myself cleaning the toilet, not because it was especially disgusting, but because it has been a month and I wanted to stay ahead of stuff.
I'm just happy to see that it really hasn't been my fault for all this time!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Craptacular day
I wish I had something wonderful to talk about. I wish I had something awful to talk about. I wish I had anything legitimate to talk about.
But today was just another in a series of crummy days...where everything just wasn't right!
Days like today make me wish I was still married. I want someone at home who will hug me and tell me everything will be ok again. I want someone to bring me something to drink and a snack to share while we watch something silly on TV till I cheer up again. Of course, when I was married, I didn't have that either. When I was still married, days like today made me want to kill myself. So I guess I'm still doing better than I was.
I really want to post more often, but I feel like I'm under so much pressure to maintain the relationships and social life that I finally have after craving them for so long. I have scheduled a lazy weekend soon, where I'm not allowed to make any plans or invite anyone over. I hate feeling alone, but the constant activity has finally worn me down to the point where I am so worn out every day that I am starting to cry over the littlest things. Maybe after I recharge a bit, I'll be able to find a better way of budgeting my time...
But today was just another in a series of crummy days...where everything just wasn't right!
Days like today make me wish I was still married. I want someone at home who will hug me and tell me everything will be ok again. I want someone to bring me something to drink and a snack to share while we watch something silly on TV till I cheer up again. Of course, when I was married, I didn't have that either. When I was still married, days like today made me want to kill myself. So I guess I'm still doing better than I was.
I really want to post more often, but I feel like I'm under so much pressure to maintain the relationships and social life that I finally have after craving them for so long. I have scheduled a lazy weekend soon, where I'm not allowed to make any plans or invite anyone over. I hate feeling alone, but the constant activity has finally worn me down to the point where I am so worn out every day that I am starting to cry over the littlest things. Maybe after I recharge a bit, I'll be able to find a better way of budgeting my time...
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