Anthrocon 2012 in review

     This year at Anthrocon was another raging success in my book. They just seem to get better every year. I've never written one of these "con reports" so you'll just have to bear with me as I muddle through it, like everything else I do!
     This year, I had the good sense to take an extra long vacation around the convention. I was able to join other members of the Art Show crew for a late dinner on Wednesday, before all the business of running part of the convention started. It was nice to be able to catch up with those I hadn't seen in a year, as well as meet a few other team members that I hadn't been able to meet last year. I had all day Wednesday to do my last-minute packing. I was able to get to the hotel on Thursday without all the stress of the years before. This probably had more to do with not having to deal with the annoyance of my ex who liked waiting till the last second, then rushing. Roomie P and I had less baggage as two women with a fursuit, than I did for Blaze and myself. We thought about how we were getting our baggage to and from the convention, and worked to keep everything compact. I am very proud of the fact that it only took three people to easily carry everything three blocks from where we parked the rental car to the hotel.
     At the Westin, we had no trouble getting up to out room. It was just as nice as we were used to after the last two years staying there. The only hiccup with our room was my fault, and the affected party was very gracious about it. I'll explain that part when I get there. I got checked in with ConOps, then headed out with Sage to socialize on our way to Art Show setup. Unfortunately, two things went horribly wrong on Thursday. We had left Sage's Art Show submission at home, and I had to send Joran on a mission to retrieve them from home. Also, I discovered that for the rest of the convention, I couldn't go anywhere without getting distracted three times along the way. While Sage was hitting the headless zone to cool off, I was supposed to follow her, but I ran into some friends who wanted to chat. We went out for a smoke, but I didn't have time to pick Sage up on the way before I had to check in with Petercat and the rest of the Art Show staff for some refresher training on the cash registers. Thankfully, that was resolved quickly after Sage had physically cooled off enough to understand what happened. Overheated fursuiters are not reasonable beings. Their brains are boiling too much to think reasonably. I need not to let that happen again. The rest of Thursday passed rather uneventfully.
     Friday was moderately insane, but it was the good kind of insane. I worked all morning, and half of the afternoon, but I did get some time to run to the State store to buy some Tullamore Dew, because I had gotten invited to my first room-party. That was an experience I hope to repeat! I had a chance to sit down and hang out with people I would never have met otherwise, thereby feeling more important than I really am. But busy cheetahs (I mean, leopards) don't get to hang out much at cons they help run, and rapping tigers are wild drunks! Afterwards, when I went outside for a cigarette, I ran into a dragon dressed up as a mermaid! So I got to smoke with her, finally! Eventually, I stumbled back to my hotel room, along with Roomie C, who had enough and I didn't feel safe letting him walk back to his hotel alone. That little hiccup? I made him sleep in my bed, forcing Joran onto the floor because queen-sized beds don't comfortably sleep three. At least, I hope I was truly forgiven and that she didn't just say so to make me feel better.
     Saturday was a little bit calmer, and that was good, because hangovers suck! I worked two short shifts, then barely made it to the PA Furries panel that Sage was running. It was amazing to see so many people make it to that. I got to meet a few people that I talk to from the website. It's nice to be able to put a face to the names in the chat window. After that, I took the kittyduck out for a few drinks, had a pleasant dinner with some friends, and tried going to the drum circle, but it was getting late, and I was tired by 11:30.
     Sunday is still a blur to me. I worked the entire day at the Art Show. I got to man the "wall" as we closed the bidding. It's a good time, watching the bidding wars at the last few minutes. Then came the cash-out time. It went on forever! Followed by trying to help with tear-down. I wish I could have helped more, but my feet were swelling so bad, I could barely walk. I didn't even make it to the Shore Leave party. *sigh*
    In review, the good: I had a blast. I got to go to a party and meet awesome people. I helped make this one of the best Anthrocons yet. The bad: I didn't get to hang out with as many people as I wanted to. One of the drawbacks of being staff is that you spend your time allowing everyone else to have more fun than you. The future: I will stay on the staff for as long as they'll have me. I will continue to let everyone else have more fun than me. I enjoy hearing how much they are enjoying the con.

Busy time!

     It's that time! Last week was "Pride in the Street", where I got to see Melissa Etheridge perform live! I've never been to a pride event before, and I had no clue what to expect. I certainly wasn't expecting a perfectly normal street concert. But that's what I got. And that's what I certainly enjoyed. I got to see my aunt for the first time (other than funerals) in years. I finally got to meet her wife. I got to go out in public wearing as many rainbows as I could fit on my body. I can only think of a handful of times where I've had as much fun, that I am not afraid to admit to my parents!

     Another one of those amazingly fun times is coming up this weekend, Anthrocon. I love my furries. There is something magical about gathering 4500+ of us in one place. I can't wait till it's time to go help set up. 

     Today is full of business. I already ran to the store to buy last-minute toiletries to pack. I got my purple hair color and am waiting for someone to come and help me with it. And of all people, I invited Blaze and his new girlfriend to come down and hang out! Of course, she's the one who is going to help me with the hair dye, so... Yes. I am prone to bad decision-making. Your point? This is going to help keep my day interesting.

     Besides, it'll be nice to actually spend some social time with him for the first time since I left. We got married because we enjoyed each others' company. I have honestly missed the good times we had before the fighting became so all-encompassing. And I do, fortunately, have an enforceable time-limit. I have to leave between 4:30 and 5pm to meet Roomie P at work so we can head down to the hotel, and check in with ConOps. Then we have a few hours to hang out with everyone before meeting up with the Art Show staff for a late dinner. Tomorrow I have to do the last-second double-check-that-I-packed-everything before we check into the hotel for the next five nights! Oh what an adventure this is going to be!

     I'm so antsy and anxious and ready to bolt out of my skin.... I wait for Anthrocon all year long. It's so close, but not yet...

It was a hot, sumer night...

     It's going to be a busy weekend. I'm probably not going to have time to update on my usual day. So I'm going to go ahead and do this early! Friday, I have some shopping to do to get ready for my convention. Saturday is Pride in the Street, and I get to see Melissa Etheridge. Then, I have Anthrocon the following weekend, complete with last-minute freak-outs and mental check-outs.

     Also, this Saturday is International Yarn-bombing Day, so I am working on a top-secret knitting project to "bomb" somewhere downtown. My Ravelry group's KAL for this month is "travel projects" and I will be working on the Loopy Lupie scarves to wear when we do the Lupus walk in September. That counts as "travel" because I'm taking it with me to Anthrocon to work on during whatever down-time I manage to have.

     I was listening to music at work last night, and a song came on that made me remember a random night, and how I failed to take a chance. So, once upon a time...

The nostalgia trap

     I was sitting at my kitchen table by myself this morning, having a cup of coffee. It brought back memories of once upon a time ago, when I moved into my first apartment alone. I remember how empowered I felt. I was living on my own, working at a good job. Everything in the world was ahead of me. There was nothing I enjoyed more at that point than sitting at my own kitchen table and just thinking about where I had been, and where I was going.
     Fast forward a few years. New table. New coffee pot. New kitchen. Still thinking. Ten years after I started living alone, a lot has happened, so I have a lot more to think about. No longer does the morning coffee revolve around what to make for dinner, or who I am hanging out with the next weekend. Morning coffee is now a time to relax after work. It's a time to remember. Plans are now about what to buy at the grocery store, and serious concerns about where I'm going to live after August.
     It was bittersweet to realize that I was doing the same thing in a different place. I used to wonder if I'd ever meet someone I'd want to spend my life with. Now, I mourn the end of having someone to be with. So much has changed, yet so much is still the same. I feel like I have moved backwards. It's very hard to see a positive future right now. I've emailed so many landlords about houses, but none have gotten back to me. I'm purposely single, but I feel like something is wrong with me, that I can't romantically attract anyone.
     Maybe this is just a horrible combination of the wet weather, and being left alone in my apartment. I'm sure I'll feel better once Roomie P's birthday party gets started!

Warm fuzzies of the week

     I really don't have much to talk about this week. Things seem to be going rather well at CNFH. Roomie P and Roomie C are able to at least play nice. We had some good friends over last night, and we all sat in the kitchen, having a few drinks and being silly. It was such a relief to see them acting like the friends they were when we all moved in together. I have been searching for a place to move later this summer with Roomie C. I've emailed a few landlords, and I hope something eventually pans out...
     I feel like life has entered something of a "holding pattern" lately. So I decided it was time to make something new happen. This has started me wanting to knit jewelry. Don't look at me in that tone of voice. It makes perfect sense. It all started when I wanted a string bracelet, but didn't want the same old "friendship bracelet" so I decided to take all the colors I wanted, and just made a variegated I-cord bracelet. I still need to get to the store to buy a clasp, but I'm happy with how it turned out. This sent me to my library. I pulled out my book of patterns for knitted borders. Yes! Several of them look like they'd make amazing necklaces. So now I'm making a lovely, lacy choker. I think I know who I'm giving it to when I'm done, since I don't wear chokers.

      There are several other patterns I can't wait to try making into necklaces. I found some I want to use that would look amazing with some beadwork. I think I need to get some different colors of crochet thread and perhaps some smaller DPNs. I keep starting new hobbies, and then I run out of time. I can't wait till I can get my own house someday. I've already decided I'm going to learn to spin and dye my own yarn. I also want to learn to weave and get better at sewing. My poor roommate has no clue what he agreed to when he said he wanted to live with me!

Knit till I find my Wit

     I don't know what to talk about today. Wendy is in the hospital again. She can't even tell me why, other than some symptoms. I'm going to assume it has to do with her lupus. I hate this disease. It may have brought us together in a way nothing else could, but it's robbing me of the time I want to spend with her. I can't talk to her on the phone when she's at one of her eleventy-seven doctor's office visits every month. With her in the hospital, I can't even chat with her online. I can't bring her home to visit, because travel aggravates flares. She can't go to furry events to meet all my wonderful furry friends, because large groups breed illnesses that will make her sick. I can't go to visit her, because I am poor and barely able to support myself as it is. Airfare and time off work are a bit much for me just yet.

     You may or may not know, but May is Lupus Awareness Month, and I promised I would wear purple every day this month. Only one or two people from work have asked about the purple bandanna I've been wearing everyday, and no one else. I feel like I'm failing at raising awareness, and failing my sister.

     I feel like I'm spiralling out of control. Like I've lost any sense of purpose in life. I'm doing a good job of not feeling the need to take care of everyone around me. I take time to think about myself every day. I do need more of a social life, but I need to figure out how to manage that while keeping my third-shift job that pays pretty decent money. I'm having hell trying to juggle friendships in such a way that I am not neglecting one friend just to prove that I value someone else. It hurts me to be torn in this way. I feel guilty for wanting to do anything on my weekends, because I'm certain to upset someone. And I never know who I'm going to offend with every decision I make.

     So I try to entertain myself. Keep my hands busy enough that my mind doesn't realize it isn't occupied. I have three projects in the works so far. My Rainbow Headband:

My Coral Kerchief:

And my Random Baby Blanket:

     I finished my Midsummer Night's Shawl and really need to convince someone to take a pic of me holding it up. It will look so much more awesome that way, rather than just spread out on the bed. Getting back to the knitting after even a short break is helping me to calm down and find my center. But at the same time, it's starting to feel like work and I never wanted that for my knitting. The head-coverings are still giving me pride of accomplishment, but when I needed to knit up a "washcloth" on short notice, something that needed about two hours of concentration took me two weeks!

    Like I said. I just don't know. I'm going to head back to my bed soon, prop up my feet, and get to work on my kerchief. If I can get the pattern to settle down and behave, I intend to make something similar for Hazy. But hers will probably be on larger needles, and might be even more lacy! At least that will give me something else to try and have done by the end of this month. I just wish I had a clue how much yardage I was using so I could enter these kerchiefs into my Knit-meter...  

What friends mean to me

     For a few months, I have wanted to write a blog post about friendship. I don't know where to start. There are so many amazing quotes I have found about friendship, ranging from funny to inspirational. I could list a few of those. I could talk about my friends, and what they have meant to me. I could rattle on about definitions and types of friendships. I'm going to try to focus on what it means to me when I call someone friend. Yes, this will be even more incoherent than usual. I quit trying too hard. It's more important that I get my thoughts out than anything else.
     I realize that people use the word "friend" rather freely. It can mean anything from more-than-acquaintance to a person who is as close as family. But if I refer to someone as a Friend, I am referring to the latter. Friends are my family-by-choice. These are the people I try to spend my time with. These are the people I share my deepest feelings with. A Friend is someone whose feelings are as important to me as my own. In college, I defined a friend as being like a hug: warm, comforting, something you can lean on.
     When I was younger, I used to bemoan the fact that I did not have a lot of friends. I wasn't one of the popular kids. Fortunately, I was not alone. And the friends I did have were more dearly valued for it. By not having dozens of people I called friend, I had the time to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships. As I grew to adulthood, I parted company with many of my childhood friends while making new ones. But the people that have been there through the changes in my life... They hold a special place in my heart. Those are the ones who I can reminisce with. They know my crazy moods and how to handle me.
     As I get older, I'm less concerned with having to find new friends. People will come in and out of my life for as long as they need to be there. Some touch that special place in my heart, and I know they will be here for a long time. These Friends are the ones that make me the person I am.
     When a Friend is having trouble, it's my instinct to try to help them. Often, it's just listening to their problems, but I enjoy being able to do anything to make their life more pleasant. I enjoy doing little things to make my Friends smile, from making a surprise Easter basket to making a pot of coffee. When I can, I like giving small knitted stuff to my friends, or take them out to dinner. I will defend my Friends, with everything I have, if they are being wronged. But I don't support blindly. If I know a Friend is wrong, I will tell them. I will try to do so in private if at all possible, but if necessary, I will call a friend out in whatever manner is needed. And I will defend a Friend whenever that is needed, also. Even if they are not around at the time. I don't let people tell un truths about my friends.
     I guess it comes down to me being the kind of friend I want my friends to be toward me: loyal, generous, considerate, honest...As I grow older and less dependent on my family-by-birth, I rely more on those who I have made my family-by-choice, and I strive to be as good, and fair, to them as I can be, because they are that important to me.
     I don't know. I've rattled on about this for about a week. I've lost any ability to be coherent. This is what you get from me when I spend too much time on something. It's the best I can do, the same as I'd give any friend.