I feel totally overwhelmed right now. I got the call from Human Resources that I've been waiting for, and I'm starting on the twilight shift on April Fool's Day. I can't wait to have a "normal" schedule again! I miss being able to have social contact during the week, and it's hard to manage cramming everything into Friday and Saturday... Which actually meant all my socialization was happening on Saturdays, because everyone else works on Fridays. But I'm still struggling with the ongoing pain in my legs and back. It has mostly settled into the arthritic aches I'm used to, but there's still the muscle pain that I can't quite explain. Plus, the ongoing drama that comes with living in a house named WTF...
     I'm still mad at the mated pair of roomies, and am waiting to see if they make good on the offer to help pay Unemployed Roomie bills this month. But I'm not holding my breath. I'm making nice, because I can't bring myself to tell them where I want them to go. And I certainly can't afford to pick up their share of the bills as well! They seem to think that I've gotten over my temper-tantrum, but the truth is, I still feel like my opinions don't count to them, and I can't seem to make them understand how that makes me feel.
     Gods... I can't seem to catch a break. If I'm not juggling someone's hurt feelings and neediness, I have my own massive breakdown. I'm hoping to see my doctor when I have my next vacation from work. I need to deal with my yo-yo-ing health. I need to figure out why I can't seem to feel "right" anymore. 
     I feel like I do nothing but rant and whine on this blog. I keep trying to find positive things to talk about, but right now, I don't feel very positive. Instead, I feel like I'm in a sand-pit. No matter how much I try to climb out, the walls just crumble and I fall back to the bottom again. I suppose it's at least good that I know things have to change. I'm not trapped in the soul-crushing depression that I used to feel. 
     And...here come the panic attacks again. I'm going to put on some music and force the roommates to put up with my singing. Then, I will curl up with my comfy blankets and sleep until I'm not tired anymore...