Okay... WHO STOLE MY SPOONS!

     I live every day of my life with arthritis and anxiety. These are invisible illnesses that cause me pain and stress on a regular basis. I spend my energy dealing with this, keeping a smile on my face, and doing my best not to complain about it. Most days, it is easy. Sometimes, it's harder. On my occasional bad days, I can usually fight my through what I must, but tire easily. Anyone who suffers with an invisible illness understands these days of "spoon shortage."
     But this past weekend was something I have no words for. I have been dealing with a lot of stress at home, as I've explained in the last few posts. I knew it was getting to me but I had no idea how bad. I got home from work on Friday morning, looking forward to a fun weekend, including a St Patrick's Day party at the house of some friends. I was going to start my weekend off with a bit of exercise by staying on the bus until it reached a church where I went to daycare as a child, and walking back home. It's not a very stressful walk, and I need the exercise. But while waiting for the bus, my back started hurting. During the ride, my legs started to ache. So I decided that the long walk was not for me that morning.
     I got home and barely made it up to my room. I took some Motrin, crawled into bed, and turned on the TV. I spent the next two days there. It hurt so much, just to walk to the bathroom! Taking a shower was an exercise in willpower. It was bad enough that I had to cancel my plans to go to the party. I see some of my friends less than once a month, and this was the first time I'd see some of them in even longer. But I was held hostage by a body that just would not cooperate. 
     I slept most of the weekend. When Cortez brought home a friend I wanted to meet, I had to insist that person be brought up to my bedroom, because I couldn't even go downstairs to be polite. Knowing that it was still a necessity, I felt awful that I was basically ignoring the normal rules of etiquette. And after everybody left to go to the party, I was asleep again. I didn't even have the energy to play on the computer...
     I went to work last night, thinking that the pain had finally gone away. But, I was wrong. I felt great leaving the house, but standing at the bus stop for ten minutes, my back was in screaming pain again. The leg ache started up about two hours into my shift. I'm back home, and back in bed again. I've tried every over-the-counter painkiller I have. Nothing is taking the edge off this. I'm ready to pull the blankets over my head, and it's not even nine a.m. 
     It looks like I'll be going to bed early again. I hope this gets better soon. I may work night shift, but a doctor's appointment still will mean I'd have to take time off work that I can't afford at this point in time. It looks like only time will tell...